It is very important to carve out some "me" time for yourself. In the past couple of years I've learned just how much of an impact taking some time out for oneself can have. You'd think that since I was an only child, I'd have enough "me" time by now right? lol
Honestly I don't think that one can ever have enough time for themselves, and any time spent alone allows reflection, organization, and peace. It is hard to realize what's going on in life if you are always 'doing.' It's very important to stop doing and just sit back and reflect. This may mean being sprawled out on your bed staring at the ceiling for an hour, alone with your thoughts; meditation (my first choice), going to the spa for a massage, or doing what you love to do (painting, writing, blogging, etc.)
Allowing time for yourself is probably the hardest thing to do because it seems like there is always something, but just like you go into your Blackberry to schedule various engagements, schedule some "me" time. At one point I was the person who was always doing something, never a dull moment and when I realized the way things were going I quickly stopped and changed that. I started practicing yoga and this took some time, but I learned how to clear my mind and meditate. It's one of the few things that I can say I do solely for me. Find that "thing" for yourself, it is so very rewarding, and even more necessary. Make sure whatever you choose to do in your "me" time does not seem like a burden or it defeats the whole purpose. Happy Hunting!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Excuse Me?
"What did you just say?"
This was my initial reaction to the person who made the comment I've heard one too many times before: "You look good for a brown girl!!"
Talk about a back-handed compliment. This is the most ignorant thing I've heard come out of someone's mouth and the funniest thing about it is that when people say it they think it's flattering! They believe that I am to blush and smile followed with a "thank you." Wrong! Usually I do not have time to address this and really school the person so I cringe and say the quick 'thanks' and get out of there. People: this is NOT a compliment or a clever come-on. What it is saying is that typically "brown-skinned girls" or "dark-skinned girls" are not attractive so it's amazing to you when you see one that is....that's not a compliment, that's an insult!
I cannot tell you how many time's I've gotten this in the past and when I was younger my warped, brainwashed mind thought it was okay. When given the compliment I did not understand it back then, but times have changed. No one tells anyone "You're pretty for a light skinned girl," I'm assuming because they are just expected to be pretty? Who knows....but what I do know is that this comment is very insulting and should definitely not come out of anyone's mouth.
Next time just say, "You're pretty." Leave the other part OFF!
This was my initial reaction to the person who made the comment I've heard one too many times before: "You look good for a brown girl!!"
Talk about a back-handed compliment. This is the most ignorant thing I've heard come out of someone's mouth and the funniest thing about it is that when people say it they think it's flattering! They believe that I am to blush and smile followed with a "thank you." Wrong! Usually I do not have time to address this and really school the person so I cringe and say the quick 'thanks' and get out of there. People: this is NOT a compliment or a clever come-on. What it is saying is that typically "brown-skinned girls" or "dark-skinned girls" are not attractive so it's amazing to you when you see one that is....that's not a compliment, that's an insult!
I cannot tell you how many time's I've gotten this in the past and when I was younger my warped, brainwashed mind thought it was okay. When given the compliment I did not understand it back then, but times have changed. No one tells anyone "You're pretty for a light skinned girl," I'm assuming because they are just expected to be pretty? Who knows....but what I do know is that this comment is very insulting and should definitely not come out of anyone's mouth.
Next time just say, "You're pretty." Leave the other part OFF!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
It's been a long time....
....I shouldn't have left you, without a dope entry to read to, lol! Does that even make sense?
Well anyway, I've had TONS of stuff on my mind and not nearly enough time to write about it so expect an overload of goodies in the next few weeks! Honestly, I am not even sure if anyone reads this blog of mine, as I have not even made it known that it exists, but I will say that none of that really matters on here. This is merely a way for me to speak my mind and if you happen to pass through then so be it. I'd love for you to be able to come on here and read comment if you feel so inclined, but know that I am writing for me. Thanks! And enjoy!
Well anyway, I've had TONS of stuff on my mind and not nearly enough time to write about it so expect an overload of goodies in the next few weeks! Honestly, I am not even sure if anyone reads this blog of mine, as I have not even made it known that it exists, but I will say that none of that really matters on here. This is merely a way for me to speak my mind and if you happen to pass through then so be it. I'd love for you to be able to come on here and read comment if you feel so inclined, but know that I am writing for me. Thanks! And enjoy!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
So my best friend asks me....
....if I would care more or be more upset if my boyfriend or husband left me for a man, or would it be the equal feeling of betrayal had he decided to be unfaithful with a woman?
Initially I feel like, of course I'd be more upset had it been a man, but either way, he has cheated. But I do have to say that I do think that the shock of finding out that the man I love is not even interested in woman would make me even more angry. I think this is because I would feel like I had been betrayed on more than one level. If he cheated with a woman, I would be very pissed, please believe me, but finding out that not only was he cheating but that it was with someone of this own sex? That would probably send me over the edge. I am aware that it is the same thing to some, cheating is cheating, but that would just be a little different for me. I would not be ok with it either way, but finding out that the man I thought was straight was gay would be a "double whammy," and a little much to handle while simultaneously finding out that he had a lover that was male. That's just my view on things? What about you?
Initially I feel like, of course I'd be more upset had it been a man, but either way, he has cheated. But I do have to say that I do think that the shock of finding out that the man I love is not even interested in woman would make me even more angry. I think this is because I would feel like I had been betrayed on more than one level. If he cheated with a woman, I would be very pissed, please believe me, but finding out that not only was he cheating but that it was with someone of this own sex? That would probably send me over the edge. I am aware that it is the same thing to some, cheating is cheating, but that would just be a little different for me. I would not be ok with it either way, but finding out that the man I thought was straight was gay would be a "double whammy," and a little much to handle while simultaneously finding out that he had a lover that was male. That's just my view on things? What about you?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Appreciate Life....
While I'm here on vacation in Cabo San Lucas I have really been on relaxation mode. Half of the time I have no idea what time it is, and frankly I don't care, lol. I love it down here, the lifestyle is so laid back and carefree. I have really learned to appreciate life, no matter how hard it has been or will be, knowing that I have amazing friends and family, I am content with that. I have had so much time for me while down here! I've read 2 books so far and floating in the pool gives me time to just think and reflect about everything under the sun. I love and appreciate life!!! So should you!
Top 5 Best things about Cabo so far.....
So I'm in Cabo on vacation for a week and I'm seeing so many beautiful sights!
1. The Sunrise @ 6:30 over the blue water and white sand.
2. The waves crashing so hard around 10pm that they feel and sound like thunder!
3. People in love on vacations or honeymoons.
4. The looks of the faces of my friends on the banana boat ride!
5. My new tattoo's! No...they're just henna! lol
1. The Sunrise @ 6:30 over the blue water and white sand.
2. The waves crashing so hard around 10pm that they feel and sound like thunder!
3. People in love on vacations or honeymoons.
4. The looks of the faces of my friends on the banana boat ride!
5. My new tattoo's! No...they're just henna! lol
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Common Sense
This is what COMMON had to say in a recent interview and it made so much sense and really made me love him even more than I already do:
This is so true! And I feel like so many people really need to realize this. He went on to say that basically he had to experience this to learn that, so I know you really can't tell anyone something like this while they are in the relationship because in order for a person truly learn, they must do so the "hard" way. He was speaking on his relationship to Erykah Badu. Loving yourself is so essential to loving someone else. You cannot really love someone if you don't love yourself. Compromising is one thing, but completely losing yourself is another, and is a direct result of not really loving yourself.
"That no matter how much you love somebody, you’ve got to love yourself first. If you’re truly loving yourself, you won’t allow some things to go down, and you’ll have boundaries. I was so in love that I gave up certain things about me, and that showed a lack of love for myself."
This is so true! And I feel like so many people really need to realize this. He went on to say that basically he had to experience this to learn that, so I know you really can't tell anyone something like this while they are in the relationship because in order for a person truly learn, they must do so the "hard" way. He was speaking on his relationship to Erykah Badu. Loving yourself is so essential to loving someone else. You cannot really love someone if you don't love yourself. Compromising is one thing, but completely losing yourself is another, and is a direct result of not really loving yourself.
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