Monday, August 18, 2008
Just to say "Hi"
With the unexpected loss of so many people lately it really makes you stop and think....our days are truly numbered. We can be here one day and gone the next. This is just a little reminder to take the time to call, text, email...whatever you do, to say "hello," or "I love you." I got in that habit long ago and receiving a text from me that says "I love you" is very common. When people do it to me it brightens up my day and I really appreciate it. The smallest things make a big difference. I know how precious this thing we have called life is and how quickly it can be taken away so after you read this pick up the phone and send that message or make that call...it's that simple. (I know I sound like an infomercial...but for real! :)
What time is the right time?
So my girls and I were having a little debate (what's new right?) and we began to discuss what time is the "right time" to go all the way with a guy. Now as juvenile as this may sound, it was very interesting to see the different reactions and opinions everyone had regarding the issue. Some believed that if the 'feeling' was there and it all seemed right after the first date that there was no big deal while others gawked at the one making this argument, voicing that the first date was much too soon for the home run. It's so funny to see how we all have these different ideas so I can only imagine how the guys are thinking and what they expect of a woman in a specific amount of time. We all came to the conclusion that there is no "right" time, and the real "right" time is when you feel ready.
I was thinking about it and of course with different people, one may have different desires, but the best way to make sure that none of this confusion penetrates the relationship (no pun intended) is to lay it all out on the table. When entering a new situation, the most important thing in my eyes is to be up front and honest, because whatever you start with is what you will have to maintain throughout the relationship to avoid any misunderstandings and potential trouble. This is what I think is the best bet in this area of dating...and any other area for that matter. Honesty is the best policy and if you can't be totally honest, do your best to voice what you expect, like, dislike and will not tolerate. Believe me....it's better that way!
So next time you meet someone don't hesitate when the convo takes this turn:
"Hi, my name is Jessica. Nice to meet you...does date number ___ work for you?"
Lol, no but really...put it out there. I think it's more beneficial in the long run.
I was thinking about it and of course with different people, one may have different desires, but the best way to make sure that none of this confusion penetrates the relationship (no pun intended) is to lay it all out on the table. When entering a new situation, the most important thing in my eyes is to be up front and honest, because whatever you start with is what you will have to maintain throughout the relationship to avoid any misunderstandings and potential trouble. This is what I think is the best bet in this area of dating...and any other area for that matter. Honesty is the best policy and if you can't be totally honest, do your best to voice what you expect, like, dislike and will not tolerate. Believe me....it's better that way!
So next time you meet someone don't hesitate when the convo takes this turn:
"Hi, my name is Jessica. Nice to meet you...does date number ___ work for you?"
Lol, no but really...put it out there. I think it's more beneficial in the long run.
Top 5 Things that make me say Ooohhh! (in a good way)
1. Beyonce's voice on a track, in the studio or live in concert
2. Dark skin against pearly white teeth
3. Poems that make me stop and think
4. Dancing with my friends and family to the latest hits
5. Seeing my mommy when I wake up everyday!
2. Dark skin against pearly white teeth
3. Poems that make me stop and think
4. Dancing with my friends and family to the latest hits
5. Seeing my mommy when I wake up everyday!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
"Me" Time....
It is very important to carve out some "me" time for yourself. In the past couple of years I've learned just how much of an impact taking some time out for oneself can have. You'd think that since I was an only child, I'd have enough "me" time by now right? lol
Honestly I don't think that one can ever have enough time for themselves, and any time spent alone allows reflection, organization, and peace. It is hard to realize what's going on in life if you are always 'doing.' It's very important to stop doing and just sit back and reflect. This may mean being sprawled out on your bed staring at the ceiling for an hour, alone with your thoughts; meditation (my first choice), going to the spa for a massage, or doing what you love to do (painting, writing, blogging, etc.)
Allowing time for yourself is probably the hardest thing to do because it seems like there is always something, but just like you go into your Blackberry to schedule various engagements, schedule some "me" time. At one point I was the person who was always doing something, never a dull moment and when I realized the way things were going I quickly stopped and changed that. I started practicing yoga and this took some time, but I learned how to clear my mind and meditate. It's one of the few things that I can say I do solely for me. Find that "thing" for yourself, it is so very rewarding, and even more necessary. Make sure whatever you choose to do in your "me" time does not seem like a burden or it defeats the whole purpose. Happy Hunting!
Honestly I don't think that one can ever have enough time for themselves, and any time spent alone allows reflection, organization, and peace. It is hard to realize what's going on in life if you are always 'doing.' It's very important to stop doing and just sit back and reflect. This may mean being sprawled out on your bed staring at the ceiling for an hour, alone with your thoughts; meditation (my first choice), going to the spa for a massage, or doing what you love to do (painting, writing, blogging, etc.)
Allowing time for yourself is probably the hardest thing to do because it seems like there is always something, but just like you go into your Blackberry to schedule various engagements, schedule some "me" time. At one point I was the person who was always doing something, never a dull moment and when I realized the way things were going I quickly stopped and changed that. I started practicing yoga and this took some time, but I learned how to clear my mind and meditate. It's one of the few things that I can say I do solely for me. Find that "thing" for yourself, it is so very rewarding, and even more necessary. Make sure whatever you choose to do in your "me" time does not seem like a burden or it defeats the whole purpose. Happy Hunting!
Excuse Me?
"What did you just say?"
This was my initial reaction to the person who made the comment I've heard one too many times before: "You look good for a brown girl!!"
Talk about a back-handed compliment. This is the most ignorant thing I've heard come out of someone's mouth and the funniest thing about it is that when people say it they think it's flattering! They believe that I am to blush and smile followed with a "thank you." Wrong! Usually I do not have time to address this and really school the person so I cringe and say the quick 'thanks' and get out of there. People: this is NOT a compliment or a clever come-on. What it is saying is that typically "brown-skinned girls" or "dark-skinned girls" are not attractive so it's amazing to you when you see one that is....that's not a compliment, that's an insult!
I cannot tell you how many time's I've gotten this in the past and when I was younger my warped, brainwashed mind thought it was okay. When given the compliment I did not understand it back then, but times have changed. No one tells anyone "You're pretty for a light skinned girl," I'm assuming because they are just expected to be pretty? Who knows....but what I do know is that this comment is very insulting and should definitely not come out of anyone's mouth.
Next time just say, "You're pretty." Leave the other part OFF!
This was my initial reaction to the person who made the comment I've heard one too many times before: "You look good for a brown girl!!"
Talk about a back-handed compliment. This is the most ignorant thing I've heard come out of someone's mouth and the funniest thing about it is that when people say it they think it's flattering! They believe that I am to blush and smile followed with a "thank you." Wrong! Usually I do not have time to address this and really school the person so I cringe and say the quick 'thanks' and get out of there. People: this is NOT a compliment or a clever come-on. What it is saying is that typically "brown-skinned girls" or "dark-skinned girls" are not attractive so it's amazing to you when you see one that is....that's not a compliment, that's an insult!
I cannot tell you how many time's I've gotten this in the past and when I was younger my warped, brainwashed mind thought it was okay. When given the compliment I did not understand it back then, but times have changed. No one tells anyone "You're pretty for a light skinned girl," I'm assuming because they are just expected to be pretty? Who knows....but what I do know is that this comment is very insulting and should definitely not come out of anyone's mouth.
Next time just say, "You're pretty." Leave the other part OFF!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
It's been a long time....
....I shouldn't have left you, without a dope entry to read to, lol! Does that even make sense?
Well anyway, I've had TONS of stuff on my mind and not nearly enough time to write about it so expect an overload of goodies in the next few weeks! Honestly, I am not even sure if anyone reads this blog of mine, as I have not even made it known that it exists, but I will say that none of that really matters on here. This is merely a way for me to speak my mind and if you happen to pass through then so be it. I'd love for you to be able to come on here and read comment if you feel so inclined, but know that I am writing for me. Thanks! And enjoy!
Well anyway, I've had TONS of stuff on my mind and not nearly enough time to write about it so expect an overload of goodies in the next few weeks! Honestly, I am not even sure if anyone reads this blog of mine, as I have not even made it known that it exists, but I will say that none of that really matters on here. This is merely a way for me to speak my mind and if you happen to pass through then so be it. I'd love for you to be able to come on here and read comment if you feel so inclined, but know that I am writing for me. Thanks! And enjoy!
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